


Missed Connections

by summersyettocome



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M, Trans Character, Trans Kurapika, also mentioning some of my silly ocs whoops, everyone is really gay and i have no regrets, rated for leorios potty mouth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 02:31:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7081153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summersyettocome/pseuds/summersyettocome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just because he knows it won’t be mentioned otherwise, Kurapika gives Melody explicit instructions that, should he die from embarrassment, his obituary absolutely needs to state that this entire thing is Killua’s fault.</p><p>Melody is silent for a solid three minutes against the crackle of the phone receiver before finally: “Oh, lord, tell me you didn’t Facebook stalk your wrong number guy.”</p><p>Kurapika buries his face in his hands. “Stop talking.”</p><p>Or, a modern AU in which Kurapika is too gay for this, Leorio just wants to graduate, and Gon and Killua are definitely up to something. Mostly Killua, but Gon’s definitely an accomplice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missed Connections

**Author's Note:**

> My first Ao3 fic!! I joined the Hunter x Hunter Big Bang over on Tumblr, and even though I was too shy to really talk to any of the other authors, I still had a blast!! If you haven't seen the amazing artwork that feastevil drew for this story, you can find it here: http://feastevil.tumblr.com/post/145371504168/just-because-he-knows-it-wont-be-mentioned ((revel in the beauty with me)) ((also kudos to them for the title!!))
> 
> I haven't posted any fics publicly in about four or five years so I'm super nervous about this!! I wasn't able to work in all the plot points that I'd originally wanted to, so I might follow up with some additional world-building type stories. But I hope you enjoy anyway!!
> 
> Also, for reference, I had to mess with the formatting in order to get this on Ao3, so Kurapika's texts are in plain text, and anyone he's talking with is in italics.
> 
> EDIT: Oh my god I just logged into my AO3 account for the first time since I posted this story and the love and support is so overwhelming I almost want to cry. Thank you all so much for all the sweet comments!! And thank you to everyone who pointed out the flaws in the formatting; I think I've got everything fixed so that it should be a little easier to read now, but if there are any more problems, don't hesitate to let me know!!

_((February 25, 2016))_  
<3

_1:32 PM  
so_

_1:32 PM  
dont quote me on this_

_1:32 PM  
but im pretty sure someones having sex in the library_

1:33 PM  
oh my god

1:33 PM  
are you serious

_1:33 PM  
i dont joke about these things dude_

_1:33 PM  
theyre loud_

_1:33 PM  
and two shelves over_

_1:33 PM  
i actually think i might die_

1:35 PM  
you're not going to die

_1:35 PM  
but i might!!_

_1:39 PM  
holy shit theyre so loUD_

_1:41 PM  
why are they doing this to me_

_1:41 PM  
to me specifically no one else_

_1:41 PM  
i have an anatomy test tomorrow i need to stUDY_

_1:41 PM  
YOU HEATHENS_

_1:41 PM  
I JUST WANNA PASS MED SCHOOL MAN IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK_

1:43 PM  
well maybe they're studying anatomy too

1:43 PM  
their methods are just a little more

_1:43 PM  
don’t_

1:43 PM  
hands-on

_1:43 PM  
OH HA HA HA_

_1:47 PM  
theyre really going all the way on this thing holy shit_

_1:58 PM  
would it be rude to throw a condom at them?_

1:58 PM  
yes

1:58 PM  
why do you even have condoms on you in the first place

_1:58 PM  
well_

1:58 PM  
nevermind, I don't want to know

_1:58 PM  
its med school what do you expect_

_1:58 PM  
and its not like i use them or anything_

_1:58 PM  
wait no i take that back im a fucking stud_

1:58 PM  
yeah whatever nerd

1:59 PM  
hang on, I'll send you memes to distract you

_2:01 PM  
are you serious_

**Picture sent today at 2:01 PM**

_2:01 PM  
holy shit youre an angel_

2:01 PM  
but the real question is

2:01 PM  
do I have wings

2:01 PM  
because if not

2:01 PM  
I'm just like

2:01 PM  
a person

_2:01 PM  
what the hell are you talking about_

_2:04 PM  
OH_

_2:04 PM  
oh fuck off i know what youre doing i use the internet too you know_

_2:04 PM  
don’t taint my compliments with your memes_

2:04 PM  
I'm offended

2:05 PM  
here I am, just a simple organic meme farmer

2:05 PM  
trying to export my crop

2:05 PM  
I need to pay the mortgage, Leorio

2:05 PM  
my wife

2:05 PM  
my children

_2:05 PM  
FUCK OFF MEMELORD_

_2:09 PM  
((don’t actually i enjoy you))_

~*~*~*~*~

_((February 26, 2016, 3:26 PM, EST))_

"But who _is_ he? Like, do you even know anything about him? Holy shit, do you even know what he _looks_ like?"

" _Killua,_ " Kurapika growls, flipping through Hamlet with more force than probably necessary. "Would you knock it _off_? I'm trying to work! Start from here, Gon, top of scene one," he adds, moving the phone away from his mouth in order to speak more directly to the dark-haired boy sitting across from him. Gon accepts the little paperback with his usual bright smile and bows his head over the text, mouthing the lines to himself as Kurapika turns his attention back to his phone. "Why are you so hung up over it? He's just a wrong number."

"A wrong number that you keep going back to," Killua's challenge is slightly muffled by the lollipop the boy is undoubtedly nursing. "You've been texting back and forth for months! And you _know_ you don't have to. You can stop literally any time you want―and with how many times you've complained about how annoying he is, I honestly thought you would've called it quits a long time ago."

"He's amusing," Kurapika says coolly, cheeks feeling anything but. "He _can_ be annoying from time to time, but he's really not that bad. And he's a good export for memes, which _you_ don't seem to appreciate, for some reason."

Killua groans. "Because your memes are the _literal worst_ , like, deez nuts? _Really?_ It'd be one thing if you sent me _quality_ memes, but you're sending all the stupid fucking outdated ones and―that's not the point of this conversation! You could've just written it off as, like, whoops, wrong number, so sorry, and guess what you _didn't_ do?" He doesn't even wait for an answer before barreling onwards in his half-crazed rant. "Exactly that! You text him, like, every day, and you've always got this stupid smile on your face―"

Kurapika's face, if possible, grows even hotter. Gon, thankfully, doesn't look up from his book, but he can see the hints of an amused smile stretching the boy's cheeks. Killua doesn't need to be on speaker in order to be heard―a fact that, at the moment, Kurapika is acutely aware of. "I _told_ you, he's funny. He's a genuinely nice person―a bit short-tempered, and _very_ sleep deprived, and maybe lacking in common sense and tact, but he's sweet and fun to talk to―"

"Okay, just you _saying_ that is weird." Killua informs him bluntly. "No one is _ever_ 'fun to talk to' with you. You barely ever talk to Melody unless you absolutely have to, and you _live_ with her. You put up with me and Gon 'cause you've known us since we were like, twelve―okay, okay, don't make that noise at me, maybe 'put up with' is strong wording―but making new friends has never been your strong point, and you know it. And then suddenly this guy comes along and you're all social and smiley and he's _sweet_ and _fun to talk to_? Admit it, Pikachu, you _like_ him."

Kurapika's blood runs cold. God _dammit_ , he's forgotten just how intelligent Killua is. "You little―you have absolutely _no_ proof―"

"You changed his contact name to a _heart_ , I think that's proof enough―"

"You weren't supposed to _see_ that, you little shit! When did you― _how_ did you―"

"I needed to check the time and you were taking a dump, I don't―"

"Pika, what's this word?" Gon interrupts, pointing down at the page with wide, innocent eyes―either genuine in his confusion, or disguising an attempt to end the fight before it really began, Kurapika can't tell. As simple-minded as he can be, Gon can be surprisingly crafty sometimes, and has no problem using it to his advantage, especially when his friends start bickering.

Kurapika peers down at it, his momentary distraction saving Killua from the embarrassed shouts he otherwise would've been subject to. "Uh―oh, equivocation. Eh-kwi-vo-cay-shon. It's―I'm not sure if this is entirely correct for the context it's in, but think of it as something purposely used because it has more than one meaning, so it's meant to be confusing." He lets Gon scribble the offending word in his notes before checking in with a somewhat guilty "How are you doing?" He's sure Gon is used to his frequent arguments with Killua by now, and he has no doubts that the kid can handle himself for the most part, but he still feels bad about ignoring him for so long.

"I’m okay!" Gon sounds a bit more muted than his usual sunny chirp, but it's easier to let him explain himself in his own time rather than trying to push for an answer. Sure enough, he's rewarded for the few patient minutes with a sharp burst of: "I haven't been getting mixed up as much lately, so it's not _as_ confusing as it was in the beginning? It still kind of sucks, though, it's so difficult to understand and he phrases things so weirdly and, like, _no one_ talks like that in the first place!"

"Tell him Shakespeare wrote for the common man," Killua says, barging back into the conversation―albeit with a more _useful_ contribution this time around, Kurapika notes with disdain―but Gon's hearing has always been above average, and Killua is, well, _Killua_. Calling him _loud_ is an understatement.

"Yeah, my teacher said the same thing," he says, beckoning Kurapika to put the phone on speaker so that he can talk directly to his friend. "I don't know, maybe I'm just dumb, I don't get it."

"You're not dumb, stop saying that!" Killua yowls just as Kurapika's set the phone down on the table―loud enough that the whole city block probably hears him; honestly, with all the cat jokes they make about him, they should really invest in getting him a muzzle. Kurapika resists the urge to check and see if the glass panes in the storefronts across from his apartment have shattered, instead burying his face in his hands in defeated resignation. Gon's deer-in-the-headlights shock fades into exasperated amusement as Killua continues in his rant about how Gon's just intelligent in different areas, and that just because he's not book-smart doesn't mean he's not smart in general―some things, he supposes, just never change, no matter how much time goes by.

"Shakespeare lived about four hundred years ago, Gon." Kurapika interjects, trying to ignore the Killua-induced ringing in his ear. God _damn_ , the kid has lungs. "He probably sounded a lot more modern back then. Besides, lots of people have trouble with Shakespeare―Killua included." Which, Kurapika notices with a smirk, shuts up the boy on the other end of the phone quite effectively. "I can promise you that there's _maybe_ two high school students in the _entire world_ who can get through a Shakespeare play without complaining once. It's okay that you're not one of them."

Gon's quiet for a minute, pondering his friend's words. "Bet _you_ didn't have any trouble with Shakespeare," he says finally. There's no resentment in his voice―there never is with Gon―but there's a hint of defeated resignation that breaks Kurapika's heart. "You read all the time, I bet you got through it fine."

Kurapika snorts. "Absolutely not. I _hated_ Shakespeare when I was in high school."

Gon suddenly looks like he's been told he can graduate early. " _Really?_ "

"Shoulda heard him bitching about it," Killua snarks, putting on a mockingly high falsetto. "It's the same plot over and _over_ , you're not allowed to do what you _want_ because it means everyone will _die_ , why does everyone always end up _dead_ ―"

"In my defense," Kurapika says haughtily, because Gon is laughing at him now and he needs to try to regain _some_ shred of respect and dignity. "Our entire curriculum was made up of books about people dying and I was really, really, _really_ sick of it."

"I'm just going to _Sparknotes_ this instead of reading it, oh my _god_ I can't believe I failed that super important _test_ , how could this _happen_ to me―"

"I wasn't _that_ high-pitched in high school," he mutters in defeat, crossing his arms over his chest. Gon's lost any semblance of concentration or manners now, opting instead for just straight-up cackling, his head tossed back in delight. "Goddammit, Killua, there's a _reason_ I told you to stop coming to these tutoring sessions. We were supposed to be getting work done!"

"It's okay, Pika, we knew you were human underneath it all." Killua teases, finally dropping the falsetto in favor of a tone of exaggerated sympathy. "Failure is a natural and inevitable part of human life. We all go through it sometimes. You'll be okay."

Kurapika's groan mixes with Gon's roaring laughter. "Why am I friends with you? Why are _you_ friends with him?" He asks Gon, who sticks his tongue between his teeth in a playful grin. "You're like, rainbows and puppies and sunshine, and _he's_ ―well, _catty_ would be putting it nicely."

"You loooove meeee," Killua drawls. "You want to adopt me and cherish me and spoil me rotten all the time."

"You're the literal worst and I don't know how Gon puts up with you on a daily basis."

"Go suck your boyfriend's dick, Pika."

"He's not my boyfriend!" Kurapika cries, throwing his hands in the air as both teenagers howl with renewed laughter. Gon's completely besides himself, face red and eyes watery, and he's sure Killua doesn't look any better on his end of the phone call. "He's a med student in, like, California or something, he's across the country from me, I don't know what he _looks_ like, I don't even know his last _name_ , the only reason I started _talking_ to him in the _first_ place is because I was trying to call _Gon_ and _he_ picked up instead!"

"The greatest first meeting of all time," Gon deadpans, fighting to keep a straight face. "Hey, can you stop leaving your dirty socks all over my apartment? Oh, you're not my friend? Sorry!"

"Granted, he did text me the next day to yell at me for stealing his notes," Kurapika adds as Killua bursts out into a fresh wave of giggles. "We both fucked up pretty badly."

"Somehow, his conversation starter sounds more deliberate." Killua snickers. "Bet you ten bucks he was like 'wow I better call that guy back and make friends so I won't be alone with my stuffed animals for the rest of my lonely life.'"

Kurapika frowns. "You know, every time I talk to you about him, you make him sound like a horrifying cross of Illumi and Milluki. He's _nice_ , Killua―a little weird, but I promise he's nothing like your brothers."

Gon makes a face. "God, can you _imagine_?" He gags, sticking his tongue out in disgust―Gon is less than fond of the majority of Killua's family on a _good_ day―but the other end of the phone call falls unusually silent for a solid three or four minutes. The boy is almost dead silent; if it wasn't for the subtle sounds of him breathing, Kurapika would have thought he'd hung up on them or something. Gon raises an eyebrow, but says nothing, just drums his fingers on the table with increasing speed.

Kurapika's about to ask if commenting about his family was going too far when Killua says slowly, "But what if he is? There's lots of people like Milluki and Illumi in the world; it's entirely possible that he's one of them."

"That's ridiculous," Kurapika says, turning his failed derisive snort into a cough. "I've been talking to him for months, Killua, what's the point in drawing out a charade for that long? _If_ he even does have ulterior motives in the first place, _which I doubt_."

Killua ignores him, finally regaining the playful edge to his voice. "Better find out who he is before you get in too deep, Peeks, what if he's, like, super old or something? A gross shrively old man who just wants to feast on your flesh and make you into a lampshade."

"Eww!" Gon gags, still laughing a bit. "Killua, that's gross!"

"Killua is always gross," Kurapika points out, trying to ignore the seeds of doubt taking root in the back of his mind. "And anyway, Leorio's kind of dumb, I think I'd know if he was lying or not."

"That's what they always say before they get made into lampshades, you know!"

"I hope you choke on your lollipop, you fuck."

~*~*~*~*~

 _((February 26, 2016))_  
<3

5:34 PM  
question

5:34 PM  
how can I kill someone and make it look like an accident

_5:58 PM  
why do you assume i would know that_

5:58 PM  
aren't you in med school

_5:58 PM  
im not going to help you commit murder_

5:59 PM  
listen

5:59 PM  
he's asking for it

_5:59 PM  
no, pika_

5:59 PM  
you're the worst

_6:00 PM  
i can accept that_

~*~*~*~*~

_((February 26, 2016, 8:12 PM, EST))_

"He's not wrong," Melody points out, reaching across their kitchen table to snag the rice container. "We all know Killua can be a bit, um… _crass_ at best, but I kind of agree with him on this one. I know you think you like this guy, but even you've got to admit you're kind of working on blind faith here. I mean, you've never seen his face, you've verbally talked to him _once_ , you literally know nothing about him other than what he's decided to tell you―aren't you the _least_ bit suspicious?"

Kurapika shovels noodles into his mouth in a cheap attempt to delay answering his friend, but Melody, he's forgotten, has the patience of a saint, and is more than capable of waiting for an answer. She doesn't even tap her fingernails on the wooden table, just lifts an eyebrow expectantly at him as he really takes his time, even gulping down some water in an attempt to extend his time. He almost shoves another forkful into his mouth, but Melody's plump fingers curl gently around his wrist, and he stops. He heaves a sigh and rakes a hand through his hair. "Kind of? I don't know, he's been more open with his life than I have, and some of the things he says seem too…specific to be made up. I doubt he'd gain anything from lying to me about his life, and besides, I really don't think he's the type to do something like that. He's always seemed fairly honest to me."

"That's going off intuition," she reprimands him mildly, releasing his wrist and taking a sip of water. "You know I normally trust you, Pika, but this is playing with fire. I'd rather you not get hurt if I can help it. I don't want you to end up being disappointed―or worse. Killua's theories might be a bit more on the dramatic side, but there _are_ a lot of creepy people in the world, and as much as I hate to admit it, you really don't know if this 'Leorio' guy is who he says he is. He could very well be a murderer, or a rapist, or―or something, I don't know." And she moodily stabs at a piece of chicken, wincing as her fork scrapes roughly against the ceramic plate.

He glances at her from the corner of his eye. "Boy, _you're_ in a good mood today. Band practice didn't go well today?"

She shakes her head. " _God_ no, it was terrible, but that's also not the point I'm trying to make, thank you very much. I know you don't want to hear this, but stories like this happen all the time―people meet online, one of them isn't who they say they are, and the unsuspecting victim usually ends up dead. Pika, I adore you, you know I do, and you know I'm rooting for you to find a happily ever after with this guy, but there are too many variables here for me to be comfortable with, and you're not even dating him."

"I've talked to him," he reminds her, settling back in his chair. "The first time I ever contacted him, remember? And that was the voice of a twenty-something guy if I've ever heard one."

Melody chews her lip thoughtfully. "Yeah, but that was _months_ ago. Isn't it possible you're just remembering what you want to remember? Wasn't it early in the morning when you called him? _No one_ sounds like themselves at three in the morning, you of all people should know that. And even if he's not outrageously old, he could still be a psychopath murderer or something, there's no age cap on something like that. Or what if he's transphobic? Oh, Pika, don't look at me like that, you know it could be true."

The scowl remains firm on Kurapika's face. "Yeah, but―" His phone starts buzzing next to his plate, and he groans, "Ten bucks that's Killua," he grumbles, snatching it up and putting it on speaker. "Killua, I swear to God, if you say anything about your stupid fucking Spidey-senses tingling, I'm literally going to rip you apart and feed you to your own dogs."

There's a burst of loud laughter on the other end of the phone, deeper and throatier than Killua's usual high-pitched cackles. "Not Killua," the other line promises, still chuckling. Kurapika's blood runs cold in sharp contrast to his suddenly burning cheeks. "And thank God for that, I think I'd be pissing my pants if I were him."

"L-Leorio?" Kurapika stammers, tapping the screen of his phone to reveal the heart emoji that serves as Leorio's contact name. Melody sits up straighter, eyes wide. "H-holy shit, wh-what are you―" His mind blanks in panic, any logical train of thought instantly derailed, and the next thing he knows, "didn't you have an anatomy test today?" is the first thing to pop out of his mouth. He thinks Melody has just rolled her eyes and mouthed _"smooth"_ at him, but he's not exactly paying attention to anything else but the painful embarrassment that's currently burning his face.

Leorio, thank God, laughs again, long and loud, and Kurapika would be lying if he said his heart didn't leap into his throat at the sound. "Got out like two hours ago, yeah. Thanks for the distraction memes, also, I don't remember if I told you that before."

"Sure thing," he manages, trying to piece together what the actual _fuck_ is happening right now. It's amazing just how awkward he's being at the moment; he's spent the last five months of his life texting this guy over everything and nothing, but now that they're talking face-to-face―voice-to-voice?―he finds himself with nothing to say. "So, um…"

"…’m gonna be honest for a second," Leorio says, sounding almost sheepish. "I may or may not have ulterior motives for calling you."

Kurapika blinks at Melody, who looks as confused as he feels. "You haven't been hunting me down to feast on my flesh, have you?" is the first thing he thinks to blurt out. Melody's jaw drops at the same moment as her foot swings, connecting with his shin in a dull thunk that draws an embarrassingly high-pitched yelp of pain from him. "Melody, what the hell!"

"You don't just ask people that!" she stage-whispers―which, honestly, is about the Melody equivalent of yelling.

"Is that your roommate?" Leorio asks, sounding thoroughly amused.

"You _told_ him about me?!"

"Of course I did, you're my best friend," Kurapika says, absent-mindedly rubbing at his bruising leg. "Even if you _have_ been trying to convince me that I make terrible life decisions lately."

"I'm not a murderer," Leorio adds helpfully. "And I've never feasted on anyone's flesh, scout's honor. Speaking of, though, one of my sisters―well, actually, all of them, but Cat’s the most vocal about it―she's actually been trying to convince me of the same thing."

Kurapika raises an eyebrow. "What, that you're a cannibal?"

"No, that _you_ are." Leorio starts laughing again. "She's convinced that you're some sort of sexual predator or something, I've actually got her on speaker right now. That's why I called you, to prove you're an actual person―"

Kurapika starts laughing, too, because honestly, this entire situation is like something out of a shitty film script. "I think we've been getting the same lectures for the past five months. My friend Killua thinks you're going to make me into a lampshade. "

"That explains the lovely little death threat. I'm not sure she's a hundred percent convinced that you're not going to assault me in the middle of the night, but the fury has been calmed for now."

"Tell her I'm in college and I don't have the time or energy to drive cross-country and murder you in your sleep."

Leorio dutifully relays the information in―what is that, _Italian_? What the hell, that should _not_ be attractive―and someone―probably the aforementioned sister―answers him, their voices echoing hollowly through the speaker. Kurapika takes the opportunity to glance over at Melody, who smiles almost ruefully and waves her hand in a "carry on" sort of gesture. He gives her a questioning thumb's up, and she nods in reluctant approval, patting his hand before starting to clean up her plate. Kurapika switches his phone off speaker mode just as Leorio comes back with a cheerful, "Well, I doubt she's too happy about it at the moment, but she'll get over it soon enough. Besides, it's not like I'm going to stop talking to you anytime soon."

Kurapika can't help the smile that spreads across his cheeks at those words. "That's sweet. I hope you still feel that way when I show up on your doorstep in a few minutes with my butcher knife."

"I'll serve you for dinner if you try. Tell you what, though―" He can practically hear the grin in Leorio's voice. It's definitely a sound he could get used to. "I won't make you into a lampshade if you don't lock me in your basement."

"Deal."

~*~*~*~*~

 _((March 3, 2016))_  
<3

**Audio message sent at 12:00 AM**

_7:32 AM  
did you sing me happy birthday_

7:32 AM  
yeah

_7:32 AM  
what the fuck that's adorable_

_7:32 AM  
youre adorable and its not fiar_

7:38 AM  
go to class nerd

7:38 AM  
happy birthday

_7:38 AM  
<3_

~*~*~*~*~

 _((March 3, 2016))_  
doot doot

7:39 AM  
HE SENT ME A HEART WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

_7:40 AM  
Go to class, Kurapika_

7:40 AM  
MELODY IM HAVING A GAY CRISIS

_7:40 AM  
GO TO CLASS_

~*~*~*~*~

 _((April 4, 2016))_  
<3

_12:00 AM  
happy birthday pika!!_

_12:00 AM  
im not gonna sing for you because i would embarrass myself but youre great and i like you a lot and im really glad we started talking_

_12:00 AM  
im gonna let you sleep but happy birthday i enjoy you_

~*~*~*~*~

 _((April 4, 2016))_  
chat blanc

_12:03 AM  
http://facebook.com/…._

_12:03 AM  
happy birthday_

~*~*~*~*~

 _((April 4, 2016))_  
doot doot

6:32 AM  
"youre great and i like you a lot and im really glad we started talking"

6:32 AM  
"happy birthday i enjoy you"

6:32 AM  
Melody I think I love him

_6:35 AM  
Pika, as much as I love you, it's 6:30 on a Monday morning_

_6:35 AM  
It's too early for this let me sleep_

_6:35 AM  
Like happy birthday I love you but we can talk about how gay you are later_

6:35 AM  
love you too mel

_6:35 am  
Mhmm_

~*~*~*~*~

 _((April 4, 2016))_  
chat blanc

7:43 AM  
killua what is this

_7:43 AM  
i found ur bf_

_7:43 AM  
ur welcome btw_

~*~*~*~*~

 _((April 4, 2016))_  
sunshine child

7:43 AM  
please control your boyfriend

_8:21 AM  
????_

_8:21 AM  
ok??_

~*~*~*~*~

 _((April 4, 2016))_  
chat blanc

_8:27 AM  
did u open it yet_

8:27 AM  
no!!

8:27 AM  
I'm not going to open it

_8:27 AM  
u will_

_8:27 AM  
give it time_

~*~*~*~*~

 _((April 4, 2016))_  
sunshine child

_9:46 AM  
wait r we tlaking abt killua??_

9:46 AM  
oh my god Gon

~*~*~*~*~

 _((April 8, 2016))_  
<3

9:52 AM  
holy shit youre attractive

_9:58 AM  
what_

_10:02 AM  
okay nevermind??_

10:19 AM  
sorry wrong person

_10:19 AM  
oh_

_10:19 AM  
okay cool i guess_

~*~*~*~*~

_((April 8, 2016, 10:12 AM, EST))_

Just because he knows it won't be mentioned otherwise, Kurapika gives Melody explicit instructions that, should he die from embarrassment, his obituary absolutely _needs_ to state that this entire thing is Killua's fault.

Melody is silent for a solid three minutes against the crackle of the phone receiver before finally: "Oh, lord, tell me you didn't Facebook stalk your wrong number guy."

Kurapika buries his face in his hands. " _Stop talking._ "

He'd clicked the stupid fucking link, just like Killua said he would. The Facebook account, like his own, is several years out of date, but the linked Instagram profile he'd found after half an hour of scrolling has definitely been used more recently. Most of @knightlypaladin's more frequent pictures seem to be showing off his (admittedly impressive) collection of coffee mugs and medical textbooks; one picture even depicts a long, thin hand flipping off a pile of aforementioned textbooks to complete the homage to finals week, and Kurapika has spent more time studying that hand than he cares to admit, trying to piece together what the man behind the camera could possibly look like. Judging from his Instagram feed Leorio seems to be one of those people who prefers taking pictures of the world around him rather than pictures of himself, which Kurapika usually doesn't care about, but in this case, it's _immensely_ frustrating.

Or, at least, it had been. Until Leorio had posted a picture. Of himself.

A picture that caused Kurapika to dart out of his anthropology lecture―with his _favorite_ professor, no less―and panic in the bathroom for a solid two minutes before finally calling his best friend, who has told him _multiple times_ not to call her in the weeks leading up to finals unless he wants a flute shoved up his ass. Maybe not in those exact words, but the way she was holding her flute made it very clear what her actual message was.

"Melody, you don't understand, he's _hot_ ," he pleads, raking his hand roughly through his hair. "Like, I'm sorry your trumpet's nose just exploded and I'm sorry I'm pulling you away from that but _holy shit I think I'm going to die_."

"You're not going to die," she scolds him. "No one's died because their internet friend turned out to be really hot."

He groans into the palm of his hand. "Then I might be the first. Seriously, scale of one to ten, he's like an eleven. Like, he's kind of scruffy-looking, but he's fucking _ripped_. I didn't know med students _could_ be ripped!"

"Poor baby," Melody says, now sounding thoroughly amused.

“Like, okay, remember when I came out to him? And he was completely cool with it? And he’s like ‘oh yeah just bind properly because if you don’t I’m gonna flip out’ and I thought he couldn’t get any more perfect?”

“Yes, I distinctly remember a conversation I was half-asleep for, Pika.”

Kurapika ignores her. “Yeah, well, the universe just _had_ to make him super hot on top of it all!” Kurapika harshly tugs at his bangs. “This is _not_ fair. At all. This entire things reads like a shitty movie script, but it’s not a shitty movie script, it’s my _life_. I can’t _handle_ this, Mel, I can’t do this.”

She makes a soothing noise through the phone. “Shh, you big baby, you’ll be fine. Nothing’s changed except now you know what he looks like. Speaking of which, how did you even―?”

“Killua.”

“Thought so.” She sighs. “Listen, June's nose is, like, Niagara Falls-ing over here, and the only other person we've got around to help right now is Andrew. I've got to go before she faints from blood loss. We'll talk about this later, okay?"

And so Kurapika shuffles back into class, face burning with the heat of a thousand suns. It's not often that he drifts off in this class, especially considering it's finals week and anthropology is literally what he wants to do with his life, but right now, he pulls up The Picture and settles down for analyzing.

He might not be conventionally attractive, but Leorio Paladiknight is definitely easy on the Kurta eyes. He's an interesting combination of olive skin, narrow eyes, and arched nose; his dark hair is pillow-spiked away from his face and he's wearing these stupid little sunglasses that somehow manage to suit his face rather than make him look like a wannabe hipster like Kurapika suspects they're supposed to. His chin is dark with stubble, and those are definitely some of the heaviest eye-bags he's seen so far, but the smile that stretches his cheeks ear-to-ear is bright and genuine, matching the loud barks of laughter that Kurapika's come to associate with him. Tired and finals-wrecked he may be, but overall, it's not a bad face. In fact, it's a really, really, _really_ nice face.

And the lean muscles peeking out from behind the blanket draped triumphantly over his broad shoulders certainly don't hurt.

 _Fuck_ , he's gayer than he thought.

~*~*~*~*~

 _((April 13, 2016))_  
doot doot

_2:21 PM  
You have to tell him._

2:43 PM  
I will tell him nothing

~*~*~*~*~

_((April 13, 2016, 1:30 AM, EST))_

Of course he has to tell him. That much is obvious and, despite Melody’s claims to the contrary, is definitely going to happen at some point in the near future.

The trouble is figuring out _how_.

~*~*~*~*~

 _((April 19, 2016))_  
<3

2:07 AM  
hey so my friend sent me the link to your facebook for my birthday and I may or may not have found your instagram through that facebook and I’m really sorry about that but I also want to take this time to say congrats on the face  
**Message failed to send.**

~*~*~*~*~

 _((April 26, 2016))_  
<3

4:10 PM  
hey so Killua may or may not have sent me links to your social media  
**Message failed to send.**

~*~*~*~*~

 _((May 1, 2016))_  
<3

5:16 AM  
I stalked through your instagram and I know what you look like now and I understand if you think that’s creepy  
**Message failed to send.**

~*~*~*~*~

 _((May 2, 2016))_  
chat blanc

3:13 PM  
This is all your fault

_3:14 PM  
excuse me_

3:14 PM  
yOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID

_3:14 PM  
with g8 power comes g9 responsibility_

3:14 PM  
remind me to never put you in charge of anything ever

_3:14 PM  
thats fair_

~*~*~*~*~

 _((May 6, 2016))_  
<3

_6:26 PM  
I FINISHED IM FREE_

6:26 PM  
PROUD OF YOU

6:26 PM  
NOW GO SLEEP

_6:26 PM  
DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO_

_6:26 PM  
gonna grab some food first and then yeah ill probably go sleep_

6:26 PM  
good

~*~*~*~*~

 _((May 7, 2016))_  
<3

_**Missed call at 1:12 AM** _

_1:12 AM  
hey are you awake_

_1:12 AM  
nope_

_1:12 AM  
cool beans bro get that 8 hours_

_1:53 AM  
IM FUCKIN PISSED_

_**Missed call at 1:53 AM** _

_1:53 AM  
WAKE UP I NEED TO S C R E A M_

_1:59 AM  
I KNOW YOUR ASLEEP BUT IM GONNA CAL YOU ANYWAY I NEED TO RANT_

_**Missed call at 1:59 AM.** _

_2:16 AM  
PIKA_

~*~*~*~*~

_((May 7, 2016, 3:14 AM, EST))_

Leorio finally speaks after a solid fifteen seconds of heavy, enraged breathing. “So there’s these guys in my class, right? And they're typical rich white boys, right? Like, I don't know how they get away with being such elitist assholes in _med school_ , but somehow they do and no one's really that fond of them."

Which is not the direction Kurapika expects him to go, but he draws his knees up towards his chest and prompts his friend forward with a quiet, “Yeah?”

"So―" Leorio takes a deep, calming breath, and continues. "Man, I don't know why I'm so angry about this, it's not like it's anything new, but we just finished up our finals, right? Like, the things that will literally determine whether we pass pre-med or not? The things that I've been stressing out over for the past month and a half?"

"Sure."

"So I get out of my last exam for today, I sent you a celebratory text, you respond in kind, I go and meet up with Cat to grab some food―"

Kurapika absent-mindedly nestles the phone into the crook of his neck and starts braiding sections of hair. "Cat's the triplet, right?" Of course he knows which sibling Catarine is; Leorio loves posting pictures of his family, and Kurapika is definitely going to hell for how much time he spends on Leorio's Instagram.

"Yeah, she's a freshman. So we go and grab lunch, and these assholes are standing right behind me the whole time, but of course I don't know that, so I start telling her about how the last test was kind of tough and maybe I didn’t do so well on it―"

"I'm sure you did," Kurapika soothes. "You've been stressed out about this for weeks, you haven't been sleeping well―I'm sure you're just overthinking it."

Leorio heaves a sigh. "Fingers crossed, man. So these guys are standing behind me, listening to me talking about the test, and they start going off on me, telling me I'm not going to become a doctor because I'm, like, stupid and from the ghetto or whatever―yeah, I know, it's so juvenile," he says in response to Kurapika's derisive scoff. "Like, they're pulling some middle school shit, but―I don't know, man, when you've been hearing it all your life―"

"It starts grating on you," Kurapika agrees; he's been subject to these rants before and knows the effect such comments have on his friend. "You didn't punch them, did you?"

Thankfully, Leorio barks out a laugh. "Have a little more faith in me! Nah, I didn't punch them, but Cat almost did, she was _so_ mad. I just―dude, the past couple of weeks have been fucking _awful_. These guys have been giving me and Cat shit for months, and like, I wouldn't care so much if it was just me, but fuckin' leave my baby sister out of this, thanks! So now I'm worried about her and the rest of the clan because things are literally _always happening_ to my family, and I'm worried that I might not have passed some of my exams and I'm scared, man! Being a doctor has always been my dream, ever since I was, like, ten years old or whatever. I want to help people, I want to save people's lives―"

"You will!"

"Not if I don't pass pre-med, I won't," Leorio says darkly. "And of course I haven't slept in like three years because fucking _med school_ , and I've honestly been running mostly on spite and instant coffee and let me tell you that's _not_ a good combination for getting shit done―"

"Well, maybe if you actually went to sleep like I told you to instead of staying up late to talk to me―"

"Listen, I recognize that you're a wonderful person who gives me very reasonable advice," Leorio says, soft fondness breaking through his bitter tone. "But I like talking to you better than sleeping, so I'm going to disregard any of that advice."

Kurapika's face feels like it's on fire. "Gay," he manages, and Leorio laughs quietly, almost ruefully.

"Yeah," he agrees. "Anyway, there's just―there's a lot going on right now and I'm probably stressing about it more than I should. Like, okay, I haven't told anyone about this yet, but let's say I pass pre-med, yeah? So I have to do at least three years of med school, and then I have to do like four years of residency, right?"

Kurapika researched all this ages ago. "Yeah."

Leorio takes a deep breath, then blurts out: "So I kind of want to transfer to a school in New York."

For a second, he can't breathe. A school in New York means that Leorio will be closer to him, that they'd be able to meet up in person and see each other any time they want. The idea _must_ have occurred to Leorio, though he can't imagine it's too much of a factor in the ultimate decision. "That'll be interesting," he manages, clearing his throat. "When'd you figure that out?"

"There's a program in New York that's more specified for what I want to do," Leorio says dismissively, clearly unaware of the things he’s doing to Kurapika’s heart. "But the problem is that I still have to get into the program in the first place, and if I don’t do well on these exams we just took―"

"You won't get in." Kurapika finishes. "But you _are_ going to get in. No, no, you are," he says firmly when Leorio honks in protest. "I _know_ you are, don't give me that. You've been working your butt off for as long as I've known you, and you've already accomplished so much. Even just taking inspiration from the negativity of the people around you is a huge step, and I'm―I'm really _proud_ of you for being able to do all this. You're going to be a great doctor, Leorio, I know it."

"God, you're so _nice_ to me, what the hell," Leorio marvels, voice thicker than usual. "That means the world to me, Pika."

"I'm not being _nice_ ," Kurapika scoffs, cheeks heating up. "I've never been _nice_ to you."

"For your sake, I'm going to ignore that because I don't want to write a twenty-page paper about why you're wrong. But yeah, combine finals with no sleep, no food, crazy family, and asshole classmates? I can’t handle this shit, man, I think I’m going to explode. You know they started giving me shit for my phone lock screen? My fucking _lock screen_! What the hell!”

“Well, what’s your background, then?” Kurapika asks, now thoroughly amused. “Is it anything worth making fun of?”

“No! It’s literally just that one picture of you, the one with the flower crown and the chains around your hand―you know, when everything is kind of purple-ish and really soft, and you’re in this field of flowers, you know the one? I love that picture, man, you’re, like, half turned away from the camera so it’s just your profile and you’ve got this little smirk on your face and you look really fucking pretty―”

Kurapika frowns. He knows exactly which picture Leorio is talking about, it had been part of Killua’s photography project at school, but― “I’ve never sent you any pictures.”

Leorio huffs impatiently. “No, dude, I got it off your Instagram, your friend Killua―” he breaks off, both of them falling silent as the same icy panic grips their hearts. “Oh, _shit_.”

And Leorio hangs up on him.

~*~*~*~*~

 _((May 10, 2016))_  
<3

3:15 PM  
Leo?  
~*~*~*~*~

 _((May 18, 2016))_  
<3

2:57 AM  
come on talk to me  
~*~*~*~*~

 _((May 22, 2016))_  
<3

5:18 PM  
Leo please

8:29 PM  
I miss you

~*~*~*~*~

 _((May 22, 2016))_  
chat blanc

8:29 PM  
I hate you

_8:29 PM  
no u dont_

_8:29 PM  
give it time_

~*~*~*~*~

 _((May 23, 2016))_  
<3

_7:15 AM  
okay so Killua sent me a link to your facebook on my birthday_

_7:15 AM  
i have no idea how he got my number but somehow he did_

_7:15 AM  
and i went through it like the fucking stalker i am_

_7:15 AM  
and there were a couple of links to your more recent social media so i skimmed through_

_7:15 AM  
and like holy shit man, youre really pretty??_

_7:15 AM  
like its actually unfair how attractive you are im so mad_

_7:15 AM  
and i figured i should just come clean and tell you but i really like you_

_7:15 AM  
like i get this stupid smile on my face whenever i see youve texted me and my heart starts beating really quickly whenever i talk to you and i just_

_7:16 AM  
man i like you a lot and every time i talk to you its like i fall for you a little bit more each time_

_7:16 AM  
so i couldnt just tell you hey im a massive stalker because im already in too deep, man_

_7:16 AM  
so i just didnt say anything and im really sorry about that_

_7:16 AM  
like my whole point was to not creep you out and i think i ended up doing exactly that_

_7:16 AM  
so like i understand if you dont really want to talk to me anymore_

7:16 AM  
call me. now

_7:16 AM  
yes sir_

~*~*~*~*~

 _((June 9, 2016))_  
<3

_12:52 AM  
I FORGOT TO TELL YOU I HANDED IN ALL THE PAPERWORK TODAY_

12:52 AM  
!!!!!!

12:52 AM  
so you’re coming to new york next year??

_12:52 AM  
yeah!!_

_12:52 AM  
prepare your face for sO MANY SMOOCHES_

12:52 AM  
leo oh my god

_12:52 AM  
SO MANY_

_12:52 AM  
SEE YOU SOON NERD_

~*~*~*~*~

_((June 9, 2016, 12:52 AM EST))_

Kurapika falls asleep smiling.

Again.


End file.
